In my life time i have only voted once, and it was years ago. I've spent the last 9 years locked in a room the size of most people's bathroom and the news and current events meant nothing to me. I have gone years with out watching the news,that is no exaggeration.
I was not only in prison i was in one so far from home that the news made no sense to me. But now things in the world are changing and I'm here to witness it and that is the greatest feeling in the world. I may not agree with the way the world is changing, but like it or not it is changing . My point is ... it is awesome to be home and see it. Also to hear my younger brother voice his opinions, that makes me smile the most.
No matter what direction our country takes I'll be here for it and i will be with my family through it all. What more can a guy in my shoes ask for?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Friends lost
Being lonely is the worst thing in the world. I spent years locked away dreaming of freedom and
when I could dream no more, I just stopped sleeping. And when freedom was at last granted to me I came home to a world that had forgotten me and now I find myself playing a game of catch up, and losing badly.
I use to sit in that hell I called home for all those years and wonder how can people keep coming back here? And now I am free, and know the answer ...... this world is cold to people like me! The funny thing is I am one of the lucky ones. I have family and friends to help me and to show me the way in this strange world, but not all people like me do, its those people I feel for the most. I have many friends in that place of cold steel and loneliness, friends I hope to never see again!
when I could dream no more, I just stopped sleeping. And when freedom was at last granted to me I came home to a world that had forgotten me and now I find myself playing a game of catch up, and losing badly.
I use to sit in that hell I called home for all those years and wonder how can people keep coming back here? And now I am free, and know the answer ...... this world is cold to people like me! The funny thing is I am one of the lucky ones. I have family and friends to help me and to show me the way in this strange world, but not all people like me do, its those people I feel for the most. I have many friends in that place of cold steel and loneliness, friends I hope to never see again!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Through my eyes
I have endured some of mankind's most wicked creations and lived to tell the tale of a man who lost not just his way,but his sanity,and his will to carry on. I have been slandered by those who claim to be just,and tormented by those who claim to be righteous.They say that experience defines who and what we are. So in light of that, I am thief, drug addict, liar and one who embraces the concept of sin. Their definition of my character is neither impartial nor objective; it,s biased! It,s odd how often overlook a thousand acts of kindness when faced with one simple act of deception. Love can easily be forgotten if a lie is brought to light. Suspicions hide in the darkness just waiting for the proper moment to crumble the foundations of trust that we work so hard to preserve. why is the negative so permanent and the positive so temporary? How could a man spend his entire life as a good natured person and only be remembered for his shortcomings and failures? As humans, we are all so indefinitely flawed.We thrive upon the misery and tears of those who have no other option than to surrender.
Their despair is comforting because it reminds us that we are all weak and powerless inside.Our gossip is laced with venom that poisons the purest of hearts,and leaves others to wallow in their defeat.With words we plague. Even an honest man's accomplishments can defile his honor and integrity.
Why is wickedness always lurking in the shadows of our minds? Evilness is something that can be easily achieved without much effort, but divinity is something that you must strive for, and even then can be as illusive as a smile from a stranger. On this road of life, we step over those who have fallen, and we laugh at those who cry. The war between good and evil has been raging since man's creation; it resides inside all of us.There are casualties and there are survives. But , no matter what side you chose, you will always be torn between the two.
This is evident by the fact that nothing attracts us more than sex and violence. We gather in great numbers to watch a fight in the hopes of seeing blood, and then in our infinite wisdom, we punish those who act out in aggression.
I've walked these battle grounds of condemned men rejected by society. I've dwelled among the living dead who have no tears to give. Their eyes are as hollow as your promises, their souls as black as midnight, and the scent of death is lingering from their open wounds, caused by words of hate . This world is purgatory. It is neither heaven nor hell, but rather a holding facility for those who are deemed unmanageable. How tragic a society is that changes itself so fast and so often, that even the most brilliant minds of our time have difficulty making sense of things. And for those who cannot adjust, we banish them to a world that we fabricated from madness and stone. It's there that they become further removed from a world they never understood in the first place. It's there where they understand what selfishness is really about. It's there that a man realized that all he really has is his thoughts , ideas and his pride. And when man that dares to think for himself and sees the world for what it truly is; we label him rebellious. Thoughts do not advocate extreme measures, actions do!!
People will look upon me with judgmental eyes and find that i am morally objectionable, foul, and even horrid person who defiled the innocence of his fellow man by walking down the wrong path. But, they have created an illusion where they can only see what they want to see. It's the negative, the sorrow and the pain they associate with my face. They know not of the times that I've made others smile or helped others in need , for they see those as just momentary gestures of kindness from a wicked man.
Am i evil? NO, i am not! but to live in the flesh is a sin within itself. despite our commitments to honesty and virtue, evil dwells deep inside the soul of every living man. some just hide it better than others.One day i shall perish along with the labels that you've placed upon me, but i take comfort in the fact that on my judgment day i will answer to a power than you and i !
Their despair is comforting because it reminds us that we are all weak and powerless inside.Our gossip is laced with venom that poisons the purest of hearts,and leaves others to wallow in their defeat.With words we plague. Even an honest man's accomplishments can defile his honor and integrity.
Why is wickedness always lurking in the shadows of our minds? Evilness is something that can be easily achieved without much effort, but divinity is something that you must strive for, and even then can be as illusive as a smile from a stranger. On this road of life, we step over those who have fallen, and we laugh at those who cry. The war between good and evil has been raging since man's creation; it resides inside all of us.There are casualties and there are survives. But , no matter what side you chose, you will always be torn between the two.
This is evident by the fact that nothing attracts us more than sex and violence. We gather in great numbers to watch a fight in the hopes of seeing blood, and then in our infinite wisdom, we punish those who act out in aggression.
I've walked these battle grounds of condemned men rejected by society. I've dwelled among the living dead who have no tears to give. Their eyes are as hollow as your promises, their souls as black as midnight, and the scent of death is lingering from their open wounds, caused by words of hate . This world is purgatory. It is neither heaven nor hell, but rather a holding facility for those who are deemed unmanageable. How tragic a society is that changes itself so fast and so often, that even the most brilliant minds of our time have difficulty making sense of things. And for those who cannot adjust, we banish them to a world that we fabricated from madness and stone. It's there that they become further removed from a world they never understood in the first place. It's there where they understand what selfishness is really about. It's there that a man realized that all he really has is his thoughts , ideas and his pride. And when man that dares to think for himself and sees the world for what it truly is; we label him rebellious. Thoughts do not advocate extreme measures, actions do!!
People will look upon me with judgmental eyes and find that i am morally objectionable, foul, and even horrid person who defiled the innocence of his fellow man by walking down the wrong path. But, they have created an illusion where they can only see what they want to see. It's the negative, the sorrow and the pain they associate with my face. They know not of the times that I've made others smile or helped others in need , for they see those as just momentary gestures of kindness from a wicked man.
Am i evil? NO, i am not! but to live in the flesh is a sin within itself. despite our commitments to honesty and virtue, evil dwells deep inside the soul of every living man. some just hide it better than others.One day i shall perish along with the labels that you've placed upon me, but i take comfort in the fact that on my judgment day i will answer to a power than you and i !
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